Spreuken over Humor
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Letter - 278 Spreuken
Autoritaire mensen verraden zich altijd door een gebrek aan humor.
DetailWie slechts geloof heeft, loopt gevaar een kwezel te worden. Wie slechts humor heeft, dreigt cynisch te worden. Wie geloof én humor heeft, vindt het evenwicht waarmee hij in het leven rechtop kan blijven.
DetailWie geluk wil oogsten, moet humor zaaien.
DetailBij nat weer is er niets ergers dan een voetpad met gevoel voor humor.
DetailWie humor heeft, laat zich niet zo snel iets wijsmaken want humor is een controleorgaan. Wie humor heeft, heeft twijfels, ook over zichzelf.
DetailHumor is een soort tekenaar, die de zaken zo danig vergroot dat het lachspiegels worden.
DetailDe humor draagt de ziel over de afgronden heen en leert ze met haar eigen leed spelen.
DetailHumor is slechts een komische manier om serieus te zijn.
DetailHet is het prikkelen van het denkvermogen dat humor teweegbrengt.
DetailHumor is drama dat op zijn hoofd staat met een gescheurde broek.
DetailGeestigheid wordt geboren uit het verstand, humor bovenal uit het hart.
DetailHumor is emotionele chaos die je je in stilte herinnert.
DetailHet geheim van humor is verrassing.
DetailHumor: de goede schuilkelder als je botst met het leven.
DetailHumor geeft geen oplossing voor een vraag. De vraag zelf lost in de humor op.
DetailHumor is een prachtige waterlelie die wortelt in het troebele water van verdriet.
DetailDe beste humor is die, welke je vijf seconden doet lachen en tien minuten nadenken.
DetailGevoel voor humor is gewoon gezond verstand dat danst.
DetailIn Nederland is humor een medikament. In Vlaanderen een ingrediënt.
DetailHumor is gecultiveerde onbeschaamdheid.
DetailHumor is de beleefdheid van de wanhoop.
DetailHumor is droevige gedachten een plezierige uitvaart bezorgen.
DetailJe hebt nooit meer zin voor humor nodig dan wanneer je twist met een gek.
DetailDe humorist is iemand bij wie de vrolijkheid geweken is uit zijn hart om te gaan zetelen in zijn hersenen.
DetailHumor is een bescherming tegen het universum.
DetailDe ernst moet zich hullen in een kleed van scherts en humor wil hij toegelaten worden in het gezelschapsleven.
DetailHumor is een deur naar de eeuwigheid.
DetailMen heeft weinig aan een gevoel voor humor wanneer men het niet verder brengt dan tot humorist.
DetailHumor: de kunst om de 3 zijden van de medaille te zien.
DetailEen beslissende proef om te zien of een mens over zin voor humor beschikt, bestaat erin na te gaan of hij al dan niet boos wordt als men hem gebrek aan humor verwijt.
DetailHumor en geduld zijn kamelen waarmee je door elke woestijn kunt trekken.
DetailHumor is de zwemgordel op de rivier van het leven.
DetailHumor is voltooid verleden pijn.
DetailHumor is de grens passeren.
DetailHet is gemakkelijk om met zichzelf te lachen in kleine dingen, wanneer men zichzelf bewondert in grote. Vandaar de volmaakte humor der Engelsen.
DetailHumor: de glimlach van iemand die weet hoe weinig er te lachen is.
DetailHumor is de eigenschap die ons helpt onthouden dat we, hoe hoog ook de troon is waarop we gezeten zijn, op onze billen zitten.
DetailHumor is in de spiegel kijken om zichzelf niet te zien.
DetailHumor proberen te definiëren is een van de definities van humor.
DetailHumor is vluchten terwijl je thuis blijft.
DetailIn de tuin van het leven is humor de beste mest.
DetailIndien ik geen gevoel voor humor had, dan zou ik al lang geleden zelfmoord gepleegd hebben.
DetailMet een goed gevoel voor humor, lach je ook om je eigen gedachten.
DetailDe lach is de geigerteller van de humor.
DetailHet leven moet met liefde en humor worden geleefd: liefde om het te begrijpen en humor om het te dragen.
DetailOptimisme is slecht voor humor.
DetailDe beste manier om een probleem op te lossen, is de humor ervan te ontdekken.
DetailEen komische situatie veronderstelt altijd een toestand van veiligheid bij de toeschouwer.
DetailZodra het drama de humor ontmoet, ontstaat zoiets als troost.
DetailDe verbeeldingskracht troost ons over hetgeen we niet zijn. Het gevoel voor humor over hetgeen we zijn.
DetailVerbeelding is ons gegeven voor wat we niet zijn. Zin voor humor om ons te troosten voor wat we wel zijn.
DetailMet humor kan men de vrouwen het gemakkelijkst verleiden want de meeste vrouwen lachen graag voordat ze beginnen te kussen.
DetailAls ik man was, zou ik mezelf voortdurend uitlachen. Maar daar hebben de mannen veel te weinig zin voor humor voor.
DetailHumor is het immuunsysteem van de geest.
DetailHumoe en goed humeur zijn eeneiïge tweelingszusjes.
DetailVrouwen moeten wel gevoel voor humor hebben, kijk maar naar de mannen met wie ze getrouwd zijn.
DetailHet grote zien in het kleine en het kleine in het grote, is dat niet het geheim van humor?
DetailHumor is een orchidee op een mestvaalt..
DetailA child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
DetailA friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
DetailA government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
DetailA James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
DetailA lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
DetailA nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
DetailA stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
DetailA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
DetailA two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
DetailA word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
DetailAll men are equal before fish.
DetailAll right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
DetailAlways end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
DetailAny girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
DetailAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
DetailAs a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
DetailAs I get older, I just prefer to knit.
DetailBecause of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
DetailBehind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
DetailBetween two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
DetailBrought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
DetailBy trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
DetailCalifornia is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
DetailCross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
DetailDo not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.
DetailDon't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
DetailDrawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
DetailElectricity is really just organized lightning.
DetailEvery man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
DetailEverybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
DetailExperience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
DetailFashions have done more harm than revolutions.
DetailFatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
DetailFood is an important part of a balanced diet.
DetailFood, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
DetailGet your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
DetailGo to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
DetailGuilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
DetailHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
DetailHave enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
DetailHe taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
DetailHousework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
DetailHow many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
DetailI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
DetailI am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
DetailI am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
DetailI bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
DetailI buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
DetailI cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
DetailI cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
DetailI did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
DetailI distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
DetailI don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
DetailI don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
DetailI don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
DetailI don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
DetailI drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
DetailI failed to make the chess team because of my height.
DetailI feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
DetailI found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
DetailI have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
DetailI have never been hurt by what I have not said.
DetailI have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
DetailI have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
DetailI haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
DetailI intend to live forever. So far, so good.
DetailI knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
DetailI like children - fried.
DetailI like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
DetailI like marriage. The idea.
DetailI looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
DetailI love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
DetailI never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
DetailI never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
DetailI never said most of the things I said.
DetailI recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
DetailI refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
DetailI sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
DetailI spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
DetailI think serial monogamy says it all.
DetailI think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
DetailI used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
DetailI used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
DetailI used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
DetailI was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
DetailI was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
DetailI was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
DetailI washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
DetailI wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
DetailI wish I had the nerve not to tip.
DetailI would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
DetailI would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
DetailI'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
DetailI'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
DetailI'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
DetailI'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
DetailI'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
DetailI'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
DetailI've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
DetailIf love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
DetailIf my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
DetailIf truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
DetailIf two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
DetailIn comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
DetailIn Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
DetailIt all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
DetailIt is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
DetailIt is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
DetailIt is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
DetailMiami Beach is where neon goes to die.
DetailModeration is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
DetailMoney won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
DetailMy fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
DetailMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
DetailMy father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
DetailMy grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
DetailMy mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
DetailMy theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
DetailMy uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
DetailNever fight an inanimate object.
DetailNever floss with a stranger.
DetailNever have more children than you have car windows.
DetailNever raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
DetailNobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
DetailO Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
DetailOlder people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
DetailOne man's folly is another man's wife.
DetailOne picture is worth 1,000 denials.
DetailOriginality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
DetailOur national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
DetailParents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
DetailParrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
DetailPeople always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
DetailProcrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
DetailRecession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
DetailRoses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
DetailSmoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
DetailTelevision has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
DetailThat's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
DetailThe day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
DetailThe four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DetailThe only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
DetailThe reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
DetailThe superfluous, a very necessary thing.
DetailThe way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
DetailThere are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
DetailThere cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
DetailThere's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
DetailThere's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
DetailThere's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
DetailTragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
DetailTV is chewing gum for the eyes.
DetailA humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
DetailA joke is a very serious thing.
DetailA laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
DetailA person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
DetailA pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
DetailA sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
DetailA sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
DetailA sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
DetailA taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
DetailA well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
DetailAlimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
DetailAll I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
DetailAnalyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
DetailComedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
DetailComedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
DetailComedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile.
DetailCommon sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
DetailEverything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
DetailEverywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
DetailGags die, humor doesn't.
DetailGet well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
DetailGreat men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges.
DetailHumor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
DetailHumor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
DetailHumor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger.
DetailHumor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
DetailHumor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
DetailHumor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
DetailHumor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.
DetailHumor is just another defense against the universe.
DetailHumor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
DetailHumor is mankind's greatest blessing.
DetailHumor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
DetailHumor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.
DetailHumor is reason gone mad.
DetailHumor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.
DetailHumor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
DetailHumor is the affectionate communication of insight.
DetailHumor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
DetailI have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
DetailI think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
DetailIf I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
DetailIf you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
DetailImagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
DetailIn conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.
DetailLike a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
DetailMy computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
DetailNothing is so galling to a people not broken in from the birth as a paternal, or in other words a meddling government, a government which tells them what to read and say and eat and drink and wear.
DetailOne doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
DetailPuns are a form of humor with words.
DetailStart every day off with a smile and get it over with.
DetailThe more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
DetailThe satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
DetailThe secret to humor is surprise.
DetailThere is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
DetailThere seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
DetailThis I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.
DetailWhat a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.
DetailI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
DetailThere's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.
DetailLet the little fairy in you fly!
DetailThe poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.
DetailI may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.
DetailThe Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.
DetailThis is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION that load, we're only talking about one load connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"
DetailHumour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.
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